This Morning I Read

This morning I read.......

I don't usually open e-mails or Facebook or anything like that until after I spend time with the Lord, read my devotionals, Daily readings etc

This morning I was bad... or was I?

  This morning I read a response from someone I tagged in one of those obnoxious lists. 

She seemed very blessed by my comment about her. 

That was cool but all I could think about was that she is a single mom who has raised three boys (young men). I can see that this has been a real struggle for her...  and and yet she is seemingly doing well in her walk with the Lord. 

  She is not alone, there are so many women in her shoes, who for whatever reason have had to do the job of mother and father. We have a dear single mom here in our fellowship and I want to take care of all of her burdens, but I can't.    While on her sight I read another note (from a friend)on her page that crushed me...

When can you determine enough is enough?   Is it not enough to hear that beautiful beat inside of you become nothing?

  Is it not enough to finally grasp the idea of creation and learn to embrace it then it all be stripped away from you in mere seconds?

  Is it not enough to have that reality of creation being taken from you completely and for your heart and soul to lose its meaning, while you simply take a drugged nap?

  Is it not enough to watch your strength slowly grow weak and depend on you?

  Is it not enough not to be able to do anything for your, now weak, strength?

  Is it not enough to watch the lid of the box of death slowly close over your life’s beauty?

  Is it not enough to not be able to let reality set about the absence?

  Is it not enough to get that phone call where you are belittled to nothing?

  Is it not enough for the haunt of those words to not only follow you your whole life but to be accused of the same terrible things?

  Is it not enough to be swept under a rug and easily forgotten by an idol and sibling?

  Is it not enough for the realization to sink in that that same accusation will forever be involved in your life somehow and in some form?

  Is it not enough to be told that you will never have a time when you will just be normal?

  Is it not enough to just want to be normal?

  Is it not enough to wake up everyday and wonder if you’re going to hurt today or if everything will be okay?

  Is it not enough to wonder if you will ever bear that gift of life and fulfillment again?

  Is it not enough to be betrayed by a friend, sister, aunt with such harsh cruel words of evil?

  Is it not enough to just want to scream at the top of your lungs the anger that is inside of you towards the world?

  When IS it enough? When will you BE okay? When will you get a BREAK?

  When will you just be able to be.  (name withheld obviously)

 I wanted to fix it. 

 I wanted to wipe away the pain. 

 I wanted let her know that there is someone who knows the depth of her sorrow. 

That He knows... 

 He knows how much is enough. 

 He sent His only Son only to watch as those He loves mocked, jeered, spit upon, beat, shouted  Hosanna and Crucify Him in nearly the same breath, that whipped and tore His flesh, and hated Him. 

 He knows how much is enough. 

 Everything!

 Everything was what it took. 

 Taking upon the sin of the whole world. Bearing the burden, the penalty of sin for all of mankind. The suffering that takes place because of sin entering the world, sickness, disease, death. 

Is it my place to fix anything? 

 

This morning I read in my Chronological Bible, in Leviticus, about the Cleansing after childbirth,contagious skin diseases, boils and burns, contaminated clothing, and the cleansing, ceremony, and sacrifice necessary to be ceremonially clean...   I thought about how sick this world is; about the body of Christ how anemic we have become.  How cheap we have made the Grace of God by sinning over and over and not truly agonizing over what it cost God to free us from the bondage of this sin.  We wipe clean the blood on our hands with His Grace as if it were a "Moisty Towelette" like you get at the rib joint and toss away when clean.

This morning I read in my Tozer reading 

"... If only we would stop lamenting and look up. God is here. Christ is risen. The Spirit has been poured out from on high. All this we know as theological truth. It remains for us to turn it into Joyous Spiritual Experience (emphasis by me) And how is this accomplished? there is no new technique; if it is new it is false. The old, old method still works. Conscience fellowship with Christ is by faith, love and obedience. And the humblest believer need not be without these."  

" He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him." john 14:21

This morning I read Psalm 20 in preparation for tomorrow... Psalm 20 (NKJV) 1 To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David. May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you;

2 May He send you help from the sanctuary, And strengthen you out of Zion;

3 May He remember all your offerings, And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah

4 May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill all your purpose.

5 We will rejoice in your salvation, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.

6 Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven With the saving strength of His right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.

8 They have bowed down and fallen; But we have risen and stand upright.

9 Save, Lord! May the King answer us when we call.

This morning I read that God is sovereign, He is on the throne, He is in control, and though there is trouble, and heartache, and pain... we have a Hope, we have a finish to this race and it is Glorious. We have a Daddy who loves and desires to comfort us through our hurts rather than remove us from them... 

Some times He calms the storm 

With a whispered peace be still 

He can settle any sea 

But it doesn't mean He will 

Sometimes He holds us close 

And lets the wind and waves go wild 

Sometimes He calms the storm 

And other times He calms His child 

(Scott Krippayne)

What did you read today?